"Damn! I take the trash out the door and it comes in through the television!"

Ouch.

"Let's see if you stylists quit marvelling us with the clothes and start updating the economic model!
That's really out of style!"
[or something like that]


"I'm going to take your heart out to prevent you from having heart attacks"
"Whatever you think is convenient, Doctor Bush!"

"Things are going badly in Iraq, mobilize the reserve lies"

"And starting today, and during the next five years, we'll teach you a whole series of well-crafted intertwining lies which you will believe in blindly for the rest of your lives... Any questions?"
"Yes... Will this be part of the exam?"

More!

Restaurant
Eating Only
Reclassifications and Rackets


"We've privatized the dictionaries. So from now on, words will mean whatever their owners decide."


Beans
"Some tall men came and they gave us beans. 'You can eat them but not plant them,' they warned us, 'because they're sterile. This way, we'll be able to continue helping you,' they explained."


Guantanamo Law Faculty